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Sight: flash fiction

By On June 8, 2012 · 9 Comments
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  • http://yvonne-writingmylifeaway.blogspot.com/ Yvonne

    Waaaah! No fair! I want to know what happens!  Great read!

  • http://www.justbeingerica.tumblr.com/ Erica Cresswell

    Yvonne thanks for reading.  I am glad you enjoyed it.

  • http://idiosyncraticeye.wordpress.com/ idiosyncratic eye

    It’s such a pig being pushed from pillar to post then just having it all dismissed as ‘psychological’.  You got that spot on.  :)

  • http://www.justbeingerica.tumblr.com/ Erica Cresswell

    It totally is isn’t it?  

  • http://www.riverarunsthroughit.com Nicole Rivera

    Great story, Erica. This whole part was scary-close-to-home for me:
    “It happened gradually, insidiously. She’d read in bed before going to
    sleep as she always did but the bedside table light seemed a bit dimmer.
    A week later she had to pull the book closer to her face to read
    properly. She got a new prescription for her glasses but that didn’t
    help. With each passing day and night her eyelids felt heavier. She told
    herself she just needed to get more sleep. That didn’t help either.”
    Only difference was, I took a really long time before I went to go get a new prescription because I felt like something was *really* wrong – I was right of course, and that appointment was the wake up call!

    I also really loved this: “He said that her problem was that she couldn’t face life without her
    recently deceased husband and therefore chose to “close her eyes” to
    widowhood.” Fantastic. So much said in one little sentence.

    I think this story has a lot of potential for submission in some collection. My only reservation would be how they would feel about the ending. But, you know me, I’m at a loss for endings myself. I like this ending, but many need more (just look at Yvonne’s comment, for example!).

    Nice job!

    • http://www.justbeingerica.tumblr.com/ Erica Cresswell

      Wow Nicole thanks for the comment I didn’t realize that it was so close to home for you.  Thanks for sharing your experience.  I didn’t really want to have a conclusive ending.  For me it was more about the experience of being the patient.  

      To be honest at this point I don’t know where I’d go with my story.  I didn’t end up submitting this piece but another piece.  I kind of like the ending.  I am glad people want to know more!  I think that means I did an OK job with the piece, right?

    • http://www.justbeingerica.tumblr.com/ Erica Cresswell

      Nicole. I reworked the story completely and I’m submitting it to something. It now has a decisive ending. I can email you the new version if you like.

      • http://www.riverarunsthroughit.com Nicole Rivera

        E-mail away! that would be great – blogwithnv@gmai.com

        • http://www.justbeingerica.tumblr.com/ Erica Cresswell

          I emailed you Nicole. I changed it quite a bit.