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From her own driveway

By On April 27, 2012 · 8 Comments
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  • http://twitter.com/riverand Nicole Rivera (@riverand)

    Wow, Erica. This is haunting. You did an amazing job of bringing this horrible world to life. I am terrified to ask how close to home these “true events” that inspired this piece were. I read the novel Living Dead Girl last year and your writing and this story were reminiscent of Elisabeth Scott’s (http://www.amazon.com/Living-Dead-Girl-Elizabeth-Scott/dp/1416960597), except in that novel the girl was continually victimized by only one man – your story took this horror to a whole new level.
    Thank you for sharing your story and excellent job!

    • http://justbeingerica.wordpress.com Erica Cresswell

      Hi. Thanks for reading. Yes it is disturbing. Thankfully it’s not something that I have experienced nor know anyone who has experienced anything like this. I found an article online about several cases and I had heard a radio talk show about sex trafficking a few months back. It was something I wanted to explore. The statistics on this are disturbing and I think there is a tendency to think it doesn’t happen where we live, but it does.

  • http://manyworldsmanyminds.wordpress.com Eden

    Okay…. whoa…. damn.

    Umm, except for some personal “technical issues” (I’m one of those people who just doesn’t deal well with present tense stories …just me, don’t change your style for my quirks), this was… despressing. Heartbreaking. Horrifying… and yes, it happens far more than most people might think.

    One small glitch that I noticed: the girls’ dialogue at the house before Beth (who clearly has suffered this too and was recruiting because she hoped to get either preferential treatment or freed)… Well, the flow of who says what felt tangled. I mean, wouldn’t it be Erin that said “Ok”?

    This is just odd since I just saw that Stacy Green was posting a link about black market adoptions. I’ve been reading blogs and interviews from protitutes… Sometimes the “themes” we writers seem to get onto without even meaning it….

    • http://justbeingerica.wordpress.com Erica Cresswell

      Hi Eden,

      Thanks for the feedback. I’m not entirely sure what you mean about the dialogue being tangled; I re-read it but couldn’t find the section you’re talking about. Would you mind explaining again? I absolutely appreciate the critique and know I have a lot to work on. Wish I could find out what you meant.

      How come you don’t like stories in the present tense … just curious!

      I know these subjects are disturbing. They really happen it’s horrible. I felt pretty “dirty” writing this piece but ultimately am glad I did.

      Erica

      • http://manyworldsmanyminds.wordpress.com Eden

        This section:

        Beth laughed at Erin’s pyjamas – the top that read, “I don’t do mornings” with a miserable cat wearing a sleep mask over her eyes. Erin invited Beth inside.

        “I can’t,” she said simply.

        “OK,” Beth said with a nod.

        “Walk me to the car, will you?” Beth asked.

        “Sure.” The two girls walked down the driveway…

        I think the “OK,” said Beth…. is actually Erin.

        As for present tense? It feels gimmicky to me. Always has. Must be my age seeping through or something… As you can see, I don’t let it keep me from reading those stories and judging them on their own merits. But it’s not a form I wish to play with or active seek out.

        There are some technical issues with some of the actual descriptions as well, but those should probably be dealt with via email. Maybe go to Reddit on one of the r/sex pages and ask for a critique. You may find some people who’ve actually dealt with such situations who will help offer more details…. You will also find some jerks, but very few as long as you are polite and don’t ask them to critique the whole story, just the initial sexual scenes…

        • http://justbeingerica.wordpress.com Erica Cresswell

          Thanks for the speedy reply. I see what you meant and I just changed it. I’ve never heard of anyone describing present tense as gimmicky. That’s interesting. I enjoy writing in present. I am intrigued by the technical issues with actual descriptions as well. I am not familiar with Reddit; I will look into this. Thank you so much for giving me feedback. I know I have a lot I need to work on. Thanks! I subscribed to your blog just now. Look forward to connecting with you again. Have a great day.

  • http://mikespeegle.wordpress.com mikespeegle

    Yikes yikes! Vivid, to say the least, as well as shines the light on a very real problem in the country today — sex trafficking.

    More than anything else, it reminds me thematically of Oates’s “Where Are You Going, Where Have You been?”, the difference being that you show what happened AFTER the abduction!

    I look forward to reading more fo your work!

    • http://justbeingerica.wordpress.com Erica Cresswell

      Thanks for the feedback Mike. Yeah it’s really not a pleasant topic and it was a bit challenging to write. I do think we often think of sex-trafficking as happening somewhere else. I will have to re-visit “where are you going/where have you been?”. I love Joyce Carol Oates; she is one of my favourite writers. I’m making some changes to my blog and it would be great if you could visit it and let me know what you think. I’m trying to blog more; I have a few things in the works.